Moxxi’s with yet another bandit?

Why oh why am I not even surprised? 

And here you are, yet again caring what I do in my personal life. For once Jack please focus on something else other than who I date that isn’t you. Need I remind you that didn’t last any longer.

You know what’s the best part of it? Here I go and tell everybody the obvious knowledge about you, and you just tell me to stop telling those “lies”, but then you go and prove my point even further! You’re doing my job for me!
I sincerely don’t understand why people still ask you when those legs open, because by the looks of things, they never close! For goodness’ sake, Moxxi, have some decency!

Wait, I’m sure you don’t really understand decency, I get it. Just learn to close those legs, will ya?

(Source: thetalonofgod)

Moxxi’s with yet another bandit?

Why oh why am I not even surprised? 

File under:
#actual handsome jack


oh hey, it’s easter., what do you do on easter again?

celebrate rabbits??


doesn’t it have something to do with eggs??


does it have you getting candy and chocolate for some reason?? What the hell this is pretty much a spring mercenary day.


You know what’s really funny?

Give a man some bunny ears and have some other less valuable man call them fags and all those homophobic slangs you kiddos use these days.

When it has been more than proven that 99.9% of the bandits out there have been more than involved in acts they are so quick to point to other people!

You see why having bandits out there is dangerous, kiddos? If you accept Hyperion as your leaders, you won’t have to worry about the scumbag of the planet judging you for what you do and say! We bring freedom, we bring a society free of prejudices, we bring the future!

I brought me on Vinegar ye wily-nacker. I've eaten skags the size of this place before, and they tasted awful! Maybe this Hyperion stuff will be as good as it sounds.


"If it is I’ll pass the compliments to the architects."

"There is no way I am going to wear Bunny ears."

Angel, sweetie, you’re not an employee, you’re my daughter! If there’s anything you need to wear is a crown fit for a princess.


"It’s not cheery, it’s degrading. And are you telling me you made people buy bunny ears with their own money to hand out for this? You can’t even take a scoop out of your mountain of cash for your own stupid ideas?"

"My own stupid ideas? Sammy, stop digging yourself a deeper hole and shut up. I’m going to repeat myself very slowly so maybe you will understand: 

     came to me
       with the suggestion
         it was not
           my suggestion!

"Now, you either do it or you do it, I’m not gonna repeat myself again, kay? I give the other, you obey If I don’t see you wearing the ears they bought in the next ten minutes, things will happen. Things you won’t like. But things that will happen if you don’t do what I have ordered you to do"


"You can’t be serious… Docking my pay because I won’t do something as stupid as wearing bunny ears? I don’t even have bunny ears. Are you just issuing them out or what? Besides, Easter is a religious holiday and I’m not religious." 

"It’s funny how you believe I care if you are religious or not! Sammy girl, there are employees giving them out, they spend their hard earned money so everybody in the company would have a cheerful evening and your negativity is just ruining their mood, Sammy, what a terrible team player are you!.
   ”But basically t goes like this —I give an order, you either follow it or follow it.

File under:
We love you Jaaaack!

I know, I know.

File under:
"Uh, hey, Courtney again. I just need to ask you one thing here. Is the grass at Opportunity even real?."

Of course it is, kiddo! He have a team of expert gardeners who had prepared every landscape in Opportunity, and got the greenest of grass found in places like Aquator and Dionysus.

You can’t expect anything less from my city, kiddo!